I am in a pissy mood today.
I think since my monthly visitor is emminent, it certainly makes sense, but my mood is not justifiable.
I guess I just have all these expectations of things, but forget to communicate them to R1ck and then when he doesn't do something I want him to or think he should know to do on his own I get so frustrated.
Ugh.
And I miss my church family and all of the traditions of Chr1stmas we left behind in Tex@s.
We just do not fit in anywhere right now and I want to be able to slip comfortably into a church and sing Christm@s carols and choose an 'angel' off the tree and see the Chr1stmas decorations and know I had a part in them. Looking forward to the Christm@S parties and activities. Having a group of friends to go caroling with one afternoon. Knowing my way around the mall and the familiar S@nta display. Participating in the annual family cookie bake and bringing home way too many baked goods.
I know we are here for a purpose. And we are making new traditions here. I got to go to a Christm@s Tea with my sisters and my mom yesterday. It was the first time we were able to do something like that for 11 years. But, I couldn't help feeling out of place, extremely fat and sad.
I miss my T3xas Chr1stmas.
And I hate having to work so hard at reaching my business goal right now. I need materials to build my business, but not the funds to purchase them. So, I tried to make my sales goal and get some of them for free and I have fallen short. I have made calls and sent emails. I have begged even (and that is never pretty) and I am still short.
I am not feeling the Christm@s spirit right now.
Probably because the Chr1stmas spirit is not one of begging for sales or of pity parties.
Sigh.
I really need a good cry.
I think I go have one.
Skip one?
I Might Just be a Fan..... - Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007
Four Year Old Fashion Sense - Saturday, Jan. 06, 2007
It's All about Me This Year....Yeah, Right! - Saturday, Dec. 30, 2006
Your Momma's Soooo Fat..... - Tuesday, Dec. 05, 2006
2006 Meme - Tuesday, Dec. 05, 2006