Every single day I struggle to get out of bed. Every. single. day. I always feel like I haven't slept and I am always so exhausted, just waiting for it to be naptime, so I can rest. When I do get out of bed I find myself on the couch as the kiddos play around me. It has been especially hard to get out of bed lately because R has started to work from home and when he is already up and working in the livingroom I find myself lingering in bed longer. Then he comes to get me because he is trying to work and the kiddos are demanding breakfast and such.
This morning was especially hard to get out of bed because Kar1 woke up at 4 AM after having a nightmare. She wanted to sleep in our bed, but she tosses and turns and wakes R up, so I got her to go to her bed, as long as I went with her. Her bed is not big enough for both of us to be comfortable in, so I stayed awake until I knew she was in a deep sleep. That took two hours. I headed back to our bed at 6:30 AM for Noah to wake up an hour later. Rick got up with him, but came to get me soon after that so he could get work done. I decided to get up and shower and take the kiddos to the free movies at 10 AM. You have no idea how hard it was for me to do that. I felt like I as literally forcing myself to move.
But, we got ready and headed out the door. Then I couldn't find my keys. I saw them on R's stack of files this morning on the table, so I called him to see where he'd moved them.
He took both sets of keys with him. And he was 15 minutes away from the house. Waiting for him to bring the keys would have caused us to be very late for the movie. I told him to forget it.
Now the kiddos are watching a Plan Your D1sney Vacat1on video and I am buying my time until naptime.
I should probably take them out back to the pool and let them swim, but I do not feel like swimming now that I am showered and all ready and it is too hot just to sit and watch them.
Depression sucks. I know that is what it is. I am fat and tired and fat and just so stinking fat. And all I want to do right now is eat some icecream and climb back into bed.
Sigh.
Skip one?
Eye of the Beholder - Sunday, Sept. 16, 2007
Eye of the Beholder - Sunday, Sept. 16, 2007
Wood You??!! - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
Why Bother..... - Wednesday, Jun. 27, 2007
Just Keep Exsisting..... - Friday, Jun. 22, 2007